Monday, December 5, 2011

Why This Country Is In Bad Shape #112

Here's what happens when you write a letter to your Congressional representative, in this case opposing Stop Online Piracy Act. I used a recycled envelope, sent to me by some bulk mailer. I taped a label over their return address, applied my own "Forever Stamp" (complete with an American flag, of course) over the "Put stamp here" block, and mailed it. There were no markings to indicate it was a recycled envelope.

Today it came back with the label peeled off, a "Return to Sender" sticker applied, and "cheap ass prick" handwritten near my return address.

So we have someone either in a Congressional mail room deciding what type of envelope is worthy of entry, or we have a U.S. Postal Service employee playing political mail cop. There were no markings on the envelope and nothing to indicate it was a recycled envelope. I think recycling an envelope is the very type of thing our esteemed Benjamin Franklin, our famously frugal and first Postmaster General, would have done.

So my conclusion is this. I may be "cheap," but I am not a prick. I pay my debts and taxes and own my house. I am cheap because somebody has to be--whether you are the government or its contracted employee. You've helped put my children's financial future and security at risk. You've overspent to the point that I have to give you all my savings. I don't think I can ever be cheap enough to take care of you.

In fact, You Who Didn't Have the Balls to Sign Your Name, I pay your salary. And maybe I'll stop. Maybe I'll vote against whoever put you in your job. Maybe I'll rethink what type of delivery service I use. I hear the USPS is making huge cuts, and maybe you're next on the list, because I am forwarding this information and your clever little critique to the Inspector General's office, because I hear tampering with the mail is a serious offense. Perhaps tampering with Congressional mail is an additional felony or two.

BTW my Congressional representative has an email address, too, so I can save my 42 cents as well as the cost of a new envelope. Happy Holidays, and let freedom ring.



Helen Hanson said...

The USPS is hemorrhaging money and would have been out of business years ago were it required to actually compete. They spent more money trying to insult you than you spent on the stamp. At best, it displays embarrassingly pitiful math skills and an appalling lack of business sense.

Old Ben would spin like lathe in his grave over such waste.

author Scott Nicholson said...

Ben was my last American hero. Maybe my only one. Except Dolley Madison.

I've mailed the thing to the Inspector General, maybe they can tell from the yellow sticker at least enough to make somebody worry somewhere. And sent a copy of this post, as well as my original letter, to the Congressional rep. I think I have too much time on my hands.

Neal Hock said...

It's good to see folks in our government have their priorities straight. The person could have at least used a hyphen in the compound modifier.


Anonymous said...

I would like to take a moment to defend the USPS and its extreme financial losses. It does function as a private business, but for many years now, Congress has required the USPS to pre-pay for health benefits of future employees extending out to 2060. At the same time, Congress has also been pillaging the coffers of the USPS to fill in budget gaps.

I'm not much a conspiracy theorist, but it's almost as if, like education, the USPS has been set up to fail...

author Scott Nicholson said...

Neal, that demands a letter to the editor!

D.A., I am a big supporter of USPS--I used to think getting five pages across the country in a couple of days for a quarter was the best deal in America. I've spent a lot of money there. But some squirrelly stuff has gone on, both in personal experience and in the bad budgeting and management, that I am pretty much out of sympathy.

Besides, it's not a theory if it's the truth, right?

Chris said...

I'd print out this blog post, and include it, the original envelope, and your original letter in a new envelope, and send it to the congressperson in question. I can't imagine they would be thrilled with either the USPS or one of their people treating a constituent like that.

Garry M. Graves said...

First of all, are you a cheap ass? If so, then your point is mute. And if it (you're being a cheap ass), has been recognized in the community, then why now are you upset someone has circumvented your cheapness. Being cheap or frugal in this day and age is smart and if recognized by someone 'informed,' then, I'm thinking you should be congratulated as opposed to being scorned by government workers. It's probably a 'local,' who being a democrat government worker, felt it necessary to stick it to the one-percenter's (you), when they can. hehe.

author Scott Nicholson said...

Chris, I did that this afternoon--mailed the vandalized envelope and my blog post to the Inspector General, and a copy of my original letter and this blog post to my Congressional rep. All in a day's work!

Garry, I'm cheap but my ass is quite expensive--just ask those who have tried to buy it!

Brenda Wallace said...

Well, that was a weird-a$$ thing to do to you, whoever did it! (Note the hyphen in the compound modifier.) Please keep us posted what transpires next.

Neal Hock said...


I've duly noted your proper use of the hyphen in the compound modifier. ;-)


SBJones said...

If I had to guess, it sounds like the recycled envelope went to where it was pre-addressed to, even though you covered it up.

Rabid Fox said...

In Canada, I'm pretty sure you don't need a stamp to mail your Member of Parliament, and they don't pull classless stunts like whoever sent that envelope back to you--they just kindly throw it in the garbage.

author Scott Nicholson said...

SB, the label was applied with clear packing tape. It would have requited deliberate effort to remove. Hard to tell at what point that happened, though.

Gef, here they equate handsent letters with voters, and a kind of passion that can swing votes. Anything emailed, especially petitions, are ignored.

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